Friday, October 24, 2008

Big Women (It's NOT What You Think:))


Most women have a couple of good male friends who treat their female friends like one of the guys. No topic is forbidden territory. They have no cover for their mouths; in matters of sex, love and romance (with romance often the least of these) anything that comes up, comes out.

This past summer I hung out with a group of friends, both male and female. We hadn’t seen each other for a while. As always, rum and “ole talk” (trash talk) flowed like the River Niger. So did laughter, due in part to one man’s confession. It takes a real man to make fun of himself and his relentless, hilarious (and often unsuccessful) pursuit of women under 30. He’s the polar opposite of a gray-haired Don Juan I remember from some years back. With his cap cocked to the back, draped in gold chains and baggy jeans, he beat the bushes for young women like a big game guide on safari. “The only thing an old woman could do for him was show him where a young woman went.” Unlike our friend, nothing about this man made me laugh. Instead I felt sorry for the old desperado. Still, neither of these men wanted a big woman.

In case you’re thinking Big and Beautiful, or Fabulous and Thick, not this time. Today I’m defining her Caribbean style. To our brothers and sisters in the tropics, a big woman is a woman of a certain age; a grown woman; a seasoned sister.A few weeks after our gathering I had an “interesting” conversation with a younger man. It may have been the memory of past pleasure, but his whole demeanor changed when he described the lure of the big woman. He didn’t stutter, stumble or half-step; his appreciation for the seasoned sister was sharp, smooth and sweet like soursop ice cream. I declined the hands-on demonstration (lol), but I listened well as he spoke of the big woman’s sense of confidence, accomplishment and sensuality. According to him, she has nothing to prove to anyone – she’s been there, done that, and on this go-around, can do it even better. To the surprise of some, and the joy to others, it’s not all about looks or sex. Apparently, he’s not alone. A friend jokingly referred to herself as senior citizen to a younger man looking to check her out. I’m taking bets that right now he’s signed up for early admission to AARP. It gives new meaning to the phrase “big girl panties” – on or off (lol).

So the next time a man of a certain age wants to put the Big Woman out to pasture, let him know who’s got the upper hand. Refer him to From Dusk to Dawn, page 6, paragraph 3, lines 4-6!

20 comments:

Yasmin said...

Alright now...I heard that!
xoxo

Beverly said...

Making sense as always.
I think we have/had a friend like that where the main criteria is how young the woman is but it seems like they did drift away as we are all growing and maturing and feel very comfortable in our skins and they remain in the past.

'Cilla said...

One day they will learn.. hopefully before its too late.

wonderful Blog Niambi

Anonymous said...

And as a lifelong "big girl"...I know that's right! LOL

I've had periods in my life where I had to beat them off "wit a stick!" as the old folks can say. When my honey took me off the market; I was glad but girl...do I have some stories to tell about being 30/40 and single. LOL

Another good on Niambi!

Idrissa

Angelia... said...

Love it, my friend Janina once told me a similiar story...hooray for Big Women!
Blessings!
angelia

Anonymous said...

Wow! I loved this and learned something new. I will never look at the phrase 'big woman' the same again. Great blog.

Darnetta

Lynn Emery said...

Well, well. Now I know that some of those smiles from young guys might not just a figment of my over-active "big woman" imagination LOL Great blog.

Dera Williams said...

Tell it Sistah. I'm proud to be a big woman.

Niambi Brown Davis said...

Believe me, Yas, I heard it too; loud and clear (lol)

Niambi Brown Davis said...

So true, Beverly. Sometimes I think our comfort with ourselves is unsettling to these old Lotharios looking for somebody they can control

Niambi Brown Davis said...

Thanks, 'Cilla - And they can learn or get left behind... :)

Niambi Brown Davis said...

Thanks, Idrissa: Your "coming off the block" reads like a true love story (which it is) and know I'd LOVE to hear some of those stories :)

Niambi Brown Davis said...

Yes indeed, Angelia - hooray for us!

Niambi Brown Davis said...

Thanks, Darnetta: Neither did I until I became one (lol)

Niambi Brown Davis said...

Thanks, Lynn: Quiet as it's kept those young men know what's real and what's Memorex (lol)

Niambi Brown Davis said...

Hey, Dera - me, too; me too! (lol)

shelia said...

Tell it like it is--two hand snaps :)

Tasha said...

True! Wonderfully said.

Shaye Gray said...

Whoo Hoo!!! Loving this, sister!!

blackwomenblowthetrumpet.blogspot.com said...

Hey there Niambi!

I see you've been away from the blog for a while but I am just passing by to share "Happy New Year!" greetings!!

Please feel welcome to drop by my place and share whenever you'd like!!

Peace, blessings and DUNAMIS!
Lisa